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My Valentine
Ten years ago, I married someone who I thought would be my forever Valentine. Someone who I thought was the answer to prayers. Only to quickly find out, that wasn’t the case at all. We made it to our first year anniversary by the hardest and then by year two, is when it really began to get abusive. I hadn’t understood why people stayed in a Narcissistic type of relationship before then and now I completely understand it because I experienced it on my own. The financial dependence, the ownership, the control, the unrealistic expectations, the love bombing, the rollercoaster of being wanted and then being rejected, only…
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Do You Believe
I may lose some followers after this post and that’s okay. I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to tell you the truth. Not my truth. God’s truth. I’ve recently seen comments stating that we are our own gods. That we accomplish things within ourselves. I disagree whole-heartedly. I can’t fathom where I’d be if I didn’t believe in God and how He rescued me from one of the darkest times of my life. Had I done it within my own self, I’d be in prison or dead today. That’s a fact. I look back on where I was 10 years ago. Wow…that just hit me like…
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I Love You
I love you. Three words. Three words that are supposed to mean something special. Three words that we long to hear someone tell us. Three words that make us feel safe. Three words that make us feel secure. Three words that can also be lies. So often these words are used for self gain. In today’s society, these words are thrown around like candy in a parade. The value of them has dwindled down to almost no value at all. “I love you” is stated to gain sex, trust, physical objects, and probably other things that I’m not thinking of at the moment, because my heart is so heavy. In…
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Narcissist
Narcissist dear narcissist with you insignificant poise You tell them that you love them but all I hear is noise You crept into their lives with your counterfeit little charm You tell them you don’t mean to but all you cause is harm You pretend to be a good guy but there’s schemes in every plan You prey upon the vulnerable and you act like you’re a man You pamper them and spoil them so they think that it is love You’re cautious to show the real you ’cause you are completely incapable of You are malicious and vile and you think that you can’t lose You fondle them…
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Forgiven All
Hop on in let’s take a stroll down memory lane These things escaped my heart but will never leave my brain Momma, it’s 3 a.m. why are you driving us around? Is it ’cause Daddy’s out drunk again and he’s no where to be found? Didn’t you learn your lesson when he slapped you through the door What good will come out of it when you catch him with another whore The man’s a total monster when he’s had too much to drink How do you think we feel, come on now I need you to think He is no longer our Daddy when the demon of alcohol gets inside Now you’ve pissed…
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The Cost of One
One sip, one swig One syringe, one rig One shard, one bowl One trip, one roll One premo, one dipped One pill, one script One blunt, one toke One needle, one poke One line, one rail One more stint in jail One family, one heart All being ripped apart
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Pregnancy and Depression
Do you struggle with Depression? Pregnancy changes hormones which can alter the way that your brain functions. According to americanpregnancy.org, 14-23% of women will struggle with some symptoms of depression during pregnancy. If you’ve read previous post, you know that I have struggled with anxiety as a result of an abusive marriage and then a less than healthy relationship following that marriage. Depression though, I hadn’t really dealt with. Some of the symptoms of depression are: persistent sadness, loss of interest in activities that you usually enjoy, recurring thoughts of death, suicide, or hopelessness, or feelings of guilt or worthlessness. I didn’t understand what was happening within my mind. One day,…
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My Story
In March of 2013, I met a guy at a local gym and we began communicating on Facebook and then I found out that he was married. I asked him about it and he said that they were separating and I explained that I was not going to give him my number until all of that was settled because I wasn’t going to be “that” woman. Not long after, he moved in with a friend of his and we began a relationship. Even at the very beginning of the relationship there were red flags, that I ignored. He painted a very awful picture of his soon to be ex-wife, which…
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Lost Souls
Battered and broken and neglected and used Betrayed and tortured and bloodied and bruised Searching and seeking but can’t find a way Pursuing and striving but to always some dismay Wishing and wanting and hoping and praying Feelings of rejection that goes without saying The outcast, the loner, the misfit, the black sheep The delinquent, the hoodlum, the weirdo, the creep The empath, the forgiver, the man who is wise The hated, the unloved, the detested, the despised We’re mortals, we’re wretches, we’re sinners, we’re lost souls We’re only human beings just trying to play our roles
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Mom
Today, for Mother’s Day I wanted to share a little bit about having a mom like mine. My Mom. Where do I begin? There are a lot of women who bore children in this world and it doesn’t make you a mother. Boring a child is the easy part, raising one or more is the hard part. I remember being a young girl and we lived in an apartment when my parents were divorced and my mom had her bedroom in what would have been the dining room so my brother and I would have our own rooms. We used to ride our bikes and blow bubbles and she would…
