Honesty

Honesty is not a common thing in relationships anymore. I believe the reason for that is because honesty can be painful and no one wants to cause pain to someone else. You may feel that hiding the truth is saving the other person from heartache or disappointment. This is false. By hiding the truth, it causes more pain in the long run than any truth would have, if told in the beginning.

Being honest can sometimes have an outcome that we didn’t foresee. Should that make us hesitate or shy away from it? No, it should not. We should ALWAYS be honest, no matter what that outcome may be. We have to be honest about what we feel. If something hurt us, we have to say, “that hurt me…”. If something happened that you didn’t agree with, we have to say, “I didn’t agree with that and here’s why”, etc. Otherwise, how is the other person going to know how we feel? They won’t. They are not a mindreader and if they are…they need deliverance because that’s not normal.

I will admit that I struggle with telling someone how I feel. The reason for me is that, when I did in past relationships, it wasn’t validated. Once your feelings are not validated, you will make the choice to keep them locked inside your heart and mind because it doesn’t matter to the other person.

Since my last relationship, I decided that I needed to be honest with whoever walked into my life. NO. MATTER. WHAT. I’ve even had to be brutally honest sometimes. Did that feel good? No. I felt like I was being a b**ch. But sometimes, we just have to say what it is. No reason to leave unanswered questions or let someone wonder what expectations are on your end.

So far, my honesty has kept conversations and expectations within healthy boundaries with some and it has also made me feel like I may have hurt someone that I care about. This is the hardest part of it. To see what my honesty may have caused…what it may have messed up..but was I supposed to lie? Was I supposed to risk it being told by someone else? I didn’t want to take that risk. I wanted it to come from me.

We will always be at war with honesty because honesty is hard. Honesty isn’t the sugarcoated candy that we crave.

Remember, we should not only be honest with others but also with ourselves.

YOU ARE WORHT IT. YOU ARE ENOUGH.