Pregnancy and Depression

Do you struggle with Depression?  Pregnancy changes hormones which can alter the way that your brain functions. According to americanpregnancy.org, 14-23% of women will struggle with some symptoms of depression during pregnancy. If you’ve read previous post, you know that I have struggled with anxiety as a result of an abusive marriage and then a less than healthy relationship following that marriage. Depression though, I hadn’t really dealt with.

Some of the symptoms of depression are: persistent sadness, loss of interest in activities that you usually enjoy, recurring thoughts of death, suicide, or hopelessness, or feelings of guilt or worthlessness.

I didn’t understand what was happening within my mind. One day, when I was around 5 months pregnant, I was sitting at my desk at home and I was crying and crying. I  had wanted to get in the car and drive until I ran out of gas. I wanted to run away. I wanted to leave everything behind. I was also so very scared of postpartum depression and not being able to love my daughter, or that I would harm her, or not bond with her.

I called my ob’s office that day and spoke to the NP and told her everything that I was feeling. She said that it was okay and that she was glad that I called because it was treatable and it is something that happens more often than not during pregnancy. I was prescribed Zoloft. I began taking it shortly after and a week later, I felt normal again. I didn’t want to run away. I didn’t have a fear of harming my child once she was born. I didn’t fear not being able to bond with her.

I loved feeling her kicks and movement and couldn’t wait to meet her.

She was born on July 30th at 39 weeks via an emergency cesarean and once I was out of recovery and the nurse handed her to me, the bond was instant. I knew that I would never harm her and I knew that I was her protector and I would try my hardest to protector her from this harsh world.

I remained on Zoloft until she was around 4 months old and began to wean myself off. She’s now 6 months old and I’m completely off and I no longer struggle with depression. Anxiety on the other hand…I do still struggle with from time to time.

My daughter is my world. There is a love like no other when I see her smile and hold her in my arms.

We often hear of women hurting their children during postpartum and my opinion is, they have struggled with depression and had not realized that’s what was going on. I’ve read that some women don’t even know what happened after the act is already done because they become separate from their conscious and have no memory of it. Depression is real. Postpartum Depression is real. This shouldn’t be taken lightly and if you’re feeling the same way I was, reach out. Don’t try and deal with this on your own. Call your Ob and be honest. Tell him or her exactly what you’re feeling. You are not alone.