Sex

Sex is viewed in a variety of ways. For some the experience is a negative one. One of abuse, rape or being trafficked. For some, the experience is a positive one. One in which it is/was consensual at all times. For others, its a way of life.

Now, what I’m about to write is going to be raw and honest. I’m not going to sugar coat this subject and it will not be easy for me to write it and it may not be easy for you to read.

It took me a long time to come to the point in my life and admit that I, myself…had used sex as a way to get a male’s attention, like so many other women.

To back up a little bit, I lost my virginity at the age of 14. I wanted to be “cool”. I wanted to have something to talk about with my friends. I wanted to share that “moment” with my boyfriend at the time. He and I had an on and off relationship for the next four years. I had sex with other males during our off times. I later married this same person at 18 but that does not excuse the act that occurred at 14 and continued to occur before getting married. I’m not telling you this to brag because this is not something to brag about. This is embarrassing. I wish I could turn back time and love myself enough to know that I was worth far more than I thought I was back then. But I didn’t and I can’t go back in time.

Over the years, and being in and out of relationships, I used sex as a way to “secure” their wanting of me. I thought that if I can give sex good enough, then the rest of their acceptance of me will follow. What else is there to know about someone once you give them the most intimate parts of you? The answer is, A LOT.

There is so much more to you than sex and what you can give during sex. There’s your hopes, dreams, desires, heart, families and accomplishments. If you can keep this in the forefront of your mind, it will save you from a lot of heartache. Heartache that I experienced that I don’t want anyone to experience. Heartache from feeling rejected when all it became was sex. Not a relationship to follow. Not someone to call my own. Not someone that cherished and loved me. Just a friendship…with benefits. Just sex.

You are worth so much more than just sex. You deserve to be with someone who can cherish you. Someone who will love every single part of you and not just physically but also emotionally. I want you to promise yourself that you will not settle and you will not just give yourself to random people to feel accepted, even for 5 minutes. Let’s be honest…If you are not accepted before sex, you won’t be after sex. You will just become another number.

This goes for men also because women use you guys too. You guys are sometimes pulled into a world of control by sex. Don’t be fooled. You’re worth more than that.

Faithfulness does still exist. Someone who loves you will never risk losing you, NO MATTER WHAT. Understand that. Please. Its important.

Save yourself the tears and don’t give that part of yourself away until you feel they are worthy of getting that part of you.

YOU ARE WORTH IT. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE ENOUGH.