Thirty-Two

I turned thirty-two on January 14th and although I was not emotional when I turned thirty, I was for thirty-two. When did I become the age that I used to think was “old”? When did I get here? What have I accomplished? Am I where I thought that I would be from 5 years ago? The answer is, I don’t know and no. I would have never dreamed that I would have to walk through that fire and fight in order to survive. No one does right?

I was twenty-eight when I was going through the darkest time of my life. At that time, I wasn’t sure I was going to see the age of thirty. If I wouldn’t have gotten out, I would have been either dead or spent it celebrating in prison. That is the reality.

I was talking to a friend recently and she stated, “I wish I could have done more for you”. My response to her was that she did exactly what I needed at that time, just being there. It is so important to have someone you can reach out to no matter the day or time and know that they are available for you. Even if it’s to say nothing at all but just to listen. Sometimes we don’t want a solution to a problem or even advice. We just want someone to listen.

In a previous post titled “Parents,” I shared a birthday note that my Mom had written on my twenty-ninth birthday. Today, I want to share with you the one that was written for my thirty-second birthday.

“January 14, 2019
Happy Birthday Clarissa!

Every birthday is a celebration of the birth of our beautiful daughter! However, every birthday since January 14, 2016 has been an extra special celebration! This birthday is no exception! In fact, not only is it an extra special celebration, but it is also super exciting!

It was only 14 days ago—on the eve of 2019—that you launched your website Beauty From Ashes – Overcoming Abuse and Surviving Narcissism. It is so beautifully done and I’m so very proud that you have stepped out to make it a reality! As I have shared with you, I actually rang in the New Year by visiting your website and reading ALL that you shared. It was such a special blessing for me! It was such an awesome way to close the book on 2018 and open a brand new book for 2019! You have begun the journey I’ve talked to you about since your birthday note of January 14, 2016! You are allowing God to use the pain of your past, together with the lessons you learned to help others. You have opened the book of your life to others. The prophetic word I spoke over you years ago is now coming to pass: “You will far exceed me, because you have been in a place I have never been! You will reach people I could never reach, because of where you have been!”

Many prophetic words have been spoken over your life through the years. I was recently reminded by the Lord of one such word. We did not fully understand it at the time, but looking back we can now see what God was speaking about. He was speaking about a season that was yet to come. The word was: “You will live and not die and declare the works of the Lord!” God was letting us know way back then—without us realizing it at the time—that He was going to take you safely through a situation that would threaten your life, but it would not take your life! Now, you are declaring what the Lord has done! Awesome! God’s love for you—for our family —is so incredible!

As you travel down this journey, I just want you to remember a few things: Stay humble! God gives grace to the humble, but He resists the proud! Give God all the glory for whatever He uses you to do, knowing that it is He who is giving you the power and ability to do so! Stay true to God and to yourself! Opening yourself up the way you have done— being totally transparent—is necessary; but, at the same time, it also makes you vulnerable. Remember, you will undoubtedly have many positive comments and feedback and much success. At the same time, you will also undoubtedly have negative comments and feedback along the way. Do not let any negative feedback or comments cause you to falter and quit! Keep in mind that even if you are instrumental in rescuing only one woman—only one life —and I believe you will be instrumental in rescuing many more—that one woman—that one life —is very important! It’s very important to God and it’s very important to that one woman and her family! Do not be intimidated! Do not be swayed! Know who you are in God—keep your eyes on Jesus—ask Him to help you—focus on the goal at hand! Do not take anything personal!

I ask in the Name of Jesus, that God fill you with His seven manifold Spirits—the Spirit of the Lord, the Spirit of Wisdom, the Spirit of Knowledge, the Spirit of Understanding, the Spirit of Counsel, the Spirit of Might and the Spirit of the Fear of the Lord! (Isaiah 11:1-5) You will need the wisdom of God not to get sucked into the battles of others! You will need the Spirit of Counsel to know how to minister to the women God will send to you! You will need the Spirit of

Might for God’s supernatural strength and power! You will need the Spirit of the Lord to empower you for your ministry! And yes, it is a ministry! It’s the ministry God has prepared for you before the foundations of the world—way before you were even born! He already knew the path your life would take and He has already made provision for everything you would need!

I am very excited for this new journey you have set your feet to travel on! I look forward to all that God will do—not only in your life, but the lives of many, many others!

Love,
Dad and Mom”