Communication
What happened to sitting with someone and having a conversation? A face to face conversation, not text. We’ve come to rely on text messaging to tell people how we feel instead of doing it in person. With this route, you can’t hear their voice to know the tone of which things are being said. It has the potential to cause trouble and go down a road you did not foresee happening when you sent what you thought was innocent, heartfelt or even funny.
Communication in a relationship is one of the most important things to possess. I am an over communicator. I communicate things that do not really matter, like going take a shower. I like to keep my significant other in the know of what is going on with me. It seems simple enough, right? Yet, this is not an easy task for everyone. Not everyone possess the need for communication as I do and yes, I will admit, its frustrating at times and I could scream. The most frustrating part for me is when I find out about plans from a conversation that is not being had with me but with others. Like wait, what? What is the plan? When is this happening? I need to put things on a calendar and I need to prepare for said plans. Can y’all relate? Now, don’t get me wrong…I like surprises and last minute trips. I’m okay with that when it comes directly from my significant other.
Another important reason to keep an open line of communication with each other is being honest with what you’re feeling. I don’t know about you but I’m in my head a lot. This is what I do. I overthink everything. I can be told one thing and immediately come up with 3 different meanings in my head of what is really being said. This is a result of being lied to, disregarded and cheated on. This is something that I have to constantly fight against. It’s an internal battle. Because I am self aware of this, I will ask for clarification if I’m not quite sure about what was said. My first response when asked, “what’s wrong” will more than likely be “nothing”, but just give me a second, I’ll say what’s bothering me if we’ve built a trust with each other. If I don’t respond further, it’s because that trust has not yet been built. This is an automatic response because when I’ve stated what I felt in the past it was not validated. There are so many people that can relate to this and I know that this is not the right way to be and its hard to transition y’all but it’s not impossible. We can overcome this.
I see so many times where husbands or wives are informed of important things by others. Your significant other should be the first person you tell everything to. He/she should be your best friend. Do not put them second to anyone. You can tell your friends and family after. Value your person as you want to be valued. Communicate as you want to be communicated with. Remember, we are human and we are not perfect and we will fail at times and that’s okay. Its about how we react to that failure that counts.
Keep the lines of communication open.
