Dependency
“The person breaks you down and creates a new identity. One that you become dependent upon them.” -Steven Hassan
When you love someone who has a Narcissistic or Sociopathic Personality Disorder, it is like being in a cult. You only see what they want you to see. You only believe what they want you to believe. They are such good manipulators and most of the time, you do not realize that you’ve been played or used. It is not about you, it is about them and what is in it for them. It is about the control that they have over you. It is about what they can gain from you. The Narcissist will break you down to the point that you will depend on no one else but them. They will isolate you. They will make you believe that you can’t depend on your family or your friends because they are against you both and don’t want the two of you to be happy. They will take an action or statement and present it in such a way that you believe that they are telling you the truth. IT IS A LIE! Your family IS there for you! Your friends ARE there for you! You just have to reach out! Don’t ever lose contact with them. Don’t ever let someone isolate you!
You CAN leave and you CAN survive without the Narcissist. You CAN become independent! You CAN find your own identity and erase the one that they created for you.
DO NOT let someone talk you into something that you are not comfortable with, no matter what it may be. You have a choice! What is it going to be?
5 Comments
Dianna R. aka Mom
So powerful! I remember how helpless we felt. We loved you so much, but could not seem to be able to drive that fact home to you. You were not the same person. There was no life in you. I could see a deadness inside and it grieved my heart so. Our beautiful daughter was dead inside. You lived right in our back yard, yet you could have just as well been living out of state. You no longer had the freedom to be a part of our lives—not in the way we had always been. The day I had to sit down face to face with you was one of the hardest conversations I’ve ever had to have! I let you know that as long as we had a home, you had a home—as long as we had a car, you had a car—and as long as we had food, you had food. I knew you were under the umbrella of God’s protection on our property—and although I did not think you would survive if you moved off of our property—I feared you would die—we could no longer allow the dangerous situation to continue on our property and had no choice but to evict him off of our property. We took a chance that we may never see you again should you decide to leave with him, but we absolutely had no other choice!!! Thankfully, God closed all doors to you being able to move off of our property and you remained on our property safely under the umbrella of God’s protection! I will always be grateful to God for His mercy upon you—for His mercy upon our family! I’m so thankful God has restored our close relationship! And I’m so thankful that you are allowing God to use the pain of your past and the lessons you learned to help other women! Keep moving forward! Daddy and I are your biggest fans! We are cheering you on! We love you! Love, Mom
Clarissa
Thank you and Dad for everything that y’all have done and for ALWAYS being there!! Love y’all!
Dianna R. aka Mom
It is our honor Clarissa–our privilege–our blessing! We wouldn’t have it any other way! Love you, our beautiful daughter!
Tanya
WOW!!!! I have seen this blog but never realized that it was your story until I clicked on it and started reading… I knew a lot but had no clue about everything you went through… WOW you had me speechless! Lol! You are truly an amazing beautiful woman and you are extremely strong, brave and courageous!!! I’m in awwww of you and I’m very happy to see that you didn’t let the past define your future… you will do great things my girl! You will reach, teach and help others through their difficult times… You are what women need to get through the situations they may be facing!!! I am so glad to see how happy you, how you face is so bright and how much you are shining through the past!!! Love ya my girl!!!!
Clarissa
Thank you so much!!! Love ya too!!