Narcs and Dreams

Remember when you heard the word, “narc” and it meant that a person named someone when they were under pressure for a crime that was committed? well, this isn’t the same. Now when you hear Narc, it is short for Narcissist.

Have you ever shared your dreams and desires with a Narc? They were shot down weren’t they? Afterward, it left you feeling stupid for even thinking for a second that you could have something for yourself.

I remember telling my Narc that I wanted to go back to school for nursing. His exact words were, “I’m not supporting you for two years to go back to school.” Now, this was a time that I was working at the business we had. He wanted me to get a job–not go to school. I had a job though. I worked at the business.

Later on, I decided I was going to do something for myself. I signed up to become a Certified Personal Trainer. One day, I was watching a lesson on the computer and he walked in and he became so infuriated that he yanked the computer ( a month old…if that old at the time) and threw it. Shattered it because I was doing something for myself. I have yet to complete the course.

Narcissist do not want you to have a life outside of them yet they want to have the control of, “I made her get a job” and “I made her quit her job”. I had started jobs that I really enjoyed only to be pressured to leave and go back to work at the business full time. Then the cycle would begin again. Get a job, leave a job. Until…

Until I refused. Until I refused to leave the last job and I am still with the same Health System today. My co-workers became my saving grace and my safe place to run to. I never had to say something was wrong, they knew when I walked in if it was a good night or a bad night. We would cry together as I shared the latest of what happened. I will forever be grateful for those group of people as I needed them during that time more than they ever knew.

What are some of your dreams? Chase them!!!!

Steps to follow:

• Create an escape plan. Don’t write it down because it will be found.
• Share it with only the closest people that you can trust not to share it.
• Stick to it. NO. MATTER. WHAT.

It will not be easy so I won’t sugar coat it and tell you that it will be. I can tell you, it will  be worth it!

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE WORTH IT. YOU ARE ENOUGH.