Verbal Abuse – Beauty From Ashes

Let’s talk about verbal abuse. Do you know what it means?

According to Wikipedia:

It is the act of forcefully criticizing, insulting, or denouncing another person.
It is a destructive form of communication intended to harm the self-concept of the other person and produce negative emotions.
It is a pattern of behaviors used intentionally to control or manipulate others or to get revenge.

Have you experienced these types of behaviors from someone you love? Hurt from verbal abuse just hits different. Especially, if your love language happens to be Words. (Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman) I’ve said this before, sometimes I would have preferred to be physically hit instead of verbally. Bruises from harsh words are different as they take much longer to heal.

Verbal abuse is one of a kind. The chosen words from the abuser plays on repeat in the victim’s mind. I can still hear some of the words that were said to me by my Narc. Can you?

God’s word says that, ” death and life are in the power of the tongue”. (Proverbs 18:21) Negative words will break you down. It will start to cause you to believe them because its what you’re constantly being told. I’m here to tell you, THEY’RE LIES!!!!

Some examples:

You’re never going to be good enough
You’re never going to succeed
You’re never going to be attractive to me again unless… you lose weight
You’re stupid
You don’t fold clothes right
You don’t clean right
You don’t cook right
You don’t give enough sex
You need to learn new things because sex is boring with you

I could go on and on but you get the picture. Now, throw in that you know that there is someone else in the picture and then that becomes a level up. Because now, they’re giving you comparisons of you and her/him.

They’ll say things like:

See, that’s why I left you
She/he gives all the sex I want
She cooks better
She always cleans like I like it

BLAH BLAH BLAH

Then you start trying to change yourself to be more like her and what she does in order to win him back because he’s YOUR significant other. If you’re doing this…STOP IT!!!! Take a stand for yourself and LET HIM WALK AWAY!!! Good riddance sir!

FORGIVE and move on! Its not easy…I promise you its not easy BUT it is worth it!

I believe in the power of words. Be careful what you speak to yourself about yourself. Always encourage yourself.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE ENOUGH. YOU ARE WORTH IT.